It’s a New Year and My Mind is in Thinking Mode

As I brought in the New Year with my hubby and our 11 month old son Jordan, (our other 3 were knocked out: sleep) I began thinking. No, really, I was thinking about SO much.

I remember growing up and wanting (keyword is WANTING) to experience different things. I was always wanting to experiment and try new things. I hated being inside of a box because it made me feel claustrophobic. Yet, I was afraid of moving forward, afraid of embracing change, embracing who God wanted me to be because of fear. Fear of the unknown and worrying about what others would say about me.

I was afraid to speak my mind about what mattered most but the funny thing is when I was in school I spoke my mind about the wrong things that didn’t bring about change, it brought about drama. My first, middle and last name was DRAMA. I craved for it. I lived for it during my teenage years. Why? because it was what everyone was doing and seeking and I blended in.. So I thought…. I lost many friends because of my drama. MANY.

Yet, here I am in 2016, THINKING again. ๐Ÿ™‚

I am sitting here thinking about our history, thinking about change, thinking about my hubby and our children and the direction God wants me to go in this time around. My hubby and I had a long talk on New Year’s Eve about my feelings on segregation/diversity in the church. I talked to him about the reality of what is occurring in front of our eyes yet we are silent. Afraid to voice our hearts. It’s awesome how I can share my innermost thoughts with my best friend, the love of my life. (Joseph)

We often avoid talking about things that really matter in the community because it doesn’t make us comfortable. We don’t want to talk about black people getting killed by white police because then we are considered racist and without knowledge. We sure don’t want to talk about white cops getting killed by blacks because then we are still racist. We don’t want to talk politics because we then lose friends, We say we want to see change, but we still live in our comfort zone.

We want to see diversity and a difference, yet we still live in “segregated” mindset and environment. Many of us only hang out with our own “kind”and never show the true love and colors of Christ. My heart is so heavy writing this because it seems like history is starting to repeat itself. If we don’t step outside the box and live how Jesus lived which is loving everyone, and being the change for our children, and their children we won’t ever experience the beauty of colors and be “Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are Free at last.

I just checked out a verse from Google: Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.โ€

God didn’t favor just one race. He loved us all. He meets us where we are. Yet, that’s not what I am seeing in today’s society especially the church.

So, for 2016, I decided to BE that change and begin voicing my heart towards true equality. I may lose a LOT of friends but if we don’t set a strong foundation and standard for our children, how will we ever experience change? I am lover of all. Even when I may not get hugged by that person at church who still doesn’t like “blacks”. ย Even when I am told by a white person that I will never be successful because of the color my skin.

Welp, I think the lie detector determined THAT WAS A LIE as I have published not one but three books and had the honor of managing a rather successful VA team in 2013. I AM A CONQUEROR AND VICTORIOUS.

I think I am done thinking for now. Until then, I am going to finish reading The Book of Daniel. ๐Ÿ™‚



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